Monday, June 27, 2011

Day three

Going to try to finish my 2nd lace bowl today, and try to start on a third.  So far I have one in a warm, milk chocolatey brown and a smaller one in ecru.  Might do another in ecru and then tea-dye it.  After I crochet five or so and get them in colors I am happy with, I will stiffen them all into shape.  Not sure what I will use for that.  The pattern recommends a sugar-water recipe, but we have an ongoing ant battle, and I just don't want to create food dishes for them.  So, I may use fabric stiffener or heavy starch, which the ants might like, too.  I will decide later, Scarlett.  Tomorrow is another day.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

The money pit.

Our home in Phoenix with the new rock yard and the new roof, topped by the new air con.  Now we need gutters and paint followed by windows to save energy and screens where they are broken.  .

The charms

Day two

Ok, I was alarmed when my daughter (Tracy) had a run-in with a parked lawn mower, by the dumpster near her little restaurant, and jacked up her foot pretty badly.  But then, in a gesture of supreme family togetherness, my hubby, Mark, fell while patrolling for ants in our back yard and broke at least his toe, if not more.  We will find out on Monday when he can see the doc (or today if we can find an urgent care around here).  These two are the lights of my life, but they make me crazy!

On to arty things, I have recently finished a crocheted lace bowl, 18 charms for the Whole Lotta Whimsy Sunday Social Circle bracelet project to benefit the Joplin tornado victims, a doll and two purses for Tracy.  Busy, busy, busy keeping my mind off my troubles and having fun doing it here in the trusty recliner.  Got to swim yesterday, too, which is the only time I can breathe normally, when I am weightless in the pool.  So, lots going on, good and bad, life goes on.  Gotta say, I am happy and content today!

Friday, June 24, 2011

So, the colonoscopy didn't show anything earth shattering, and you would think that was good news, right?  But cancer is tricky.  It hides.  It sneaks around and lulls you to sleep while it lurks and stalks and waits to intrude on your life and make you sick.  We found this out the first time Mark had cancer.  He was all aboard the colonoscopy train.  Took the prostate blood test.  Nada.  Then he had appendicitis.  It was biopsied with one little cancer cell that blocked the tube  and caused the appendicitis.  Turns out the sneaky little marble-sized tumor hid up just past where the colon turns and the scope can't quite reach.  It had shot off a couple of friendly cells just to make its presence known.  They gave him a PET scan, and saw two hot areas, but they thought one of them was just a cluster of blood vessels.

Then they took the little tumor out, told him they thought they got it all, and gave Mark 13-weeks of chemo, that made his hair look like baby bird feathers.  He got pissed and shaved it.  Chemo made him so nauseated he dropped pound after pound.  He got thrush in his mouth and throat that hurt and made him give up chilies, a serious dietary change for someone who used Tabasco like others use ketchup.  It softened and mutilated his fingernails so that he couldn't even crack a pop top.  To celebrate his completion they repeated the PET scan.  There was still a tiny hot area.

Then he felt the lump.  It felt like a hernia or something like that, but of course, it was exactly the same place as the hot spot on the scan.  Another surgery.  More chemo.  No more hair.  More nausea and all the rest.  Another PET scan, no hot spots.  Another year, another scan, another and another, all ok.

And now a blood test with an out-of-whack marker.  The CT scans are negative.  The colonoscopy looks, on the surface, ok.  No biopsy results yet, but the pesky marker is still there.  So, it's off to another oncologist (we moved from Dallas to Phoenix two years ago.)  Guess we will see what the new PET scan will show.  If we can get Medicare to cover it.  If not, we wait until we can pay for it, and hope the little cancer cells move slowly.

The cancer insurance is all used up.  I am now disabled with a lung disease from hell and I dropped COBRA when we got Medicare because COBRA doubles in price at some point, and then if you get another extension, it goes up almost double again.  It would have taken more than Mark's total Social Security Disability monthly check to continue it.

It makes me so angry!  Mark and I have worked for many years.  Paid into the system.  Then some politicians get up and start yelling about cutting Medicare "and other entitlements,"  while they have Cadillac medical insurance for life.  You are the jerks who broke faith with us, you spent the money that we PAID for our Social Security and Medicare, for years and years.  How dare you imply that you are letting us subsist at barely over poverty level with no cost-of-living increase because of some entitlements!  I only wish that you could have to pay our medical and prescription bills and try to pay for everything else.  I wish you could walk a mile in our shoes, but then again, I wouldn't wish that on anyone else.

I guess I will never run for political office.

Day one

Today hubby Mark has his latest colonoscopy to see if the markers in his blood tests are true and his cancer has returned, or if they are only pre-cancerous polyps.  The CAT scans so far show nothing, but we have learned not to believe every test.  They lie.  They are incomplete.  Cancer is a sneaky business.  I am scared, and he is nervous.  We have been testy with each other all week.  I am facing a scary surgery, too, but mine will wait till mid-August.  We will deal with one thing at a time.